{"id":83,"date":"2020-12-09T00:11:29","date_gmt":"2020-12-08T21:11:29","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/kimjohnsson.com\/?page_id=83"},"modified":"2021-08-31T21:34:21","modified_gmt":"2021-08-31T18:34:21","slug":"scripts","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/kimjohnsson.com\/?page_id=83","title":{"rendered":"Scripts"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class='clear'><\/div><div id='sub_menu1'  class='av-submenu-container header_color  avia-builder-el-0  el_before_av_textblock  avia-builder-el-first  av-sticky-submenu  container_wrap sidebar_right' style='  z-index:301' ><div class='container av-menu-mobile-disabled '><ul id=\"menu-word-art-submenu\" class=\"av-subnav-menu av-submenu-pos-center\"><li id=\"menu-item-782\" class=\"menu-item menu-item-type-post_type menu-item-object-page menu-item-top-level menu-item-top-level-1\"><a href=\"https:\/\/kimjohnsson.com\/?page_id=80\" itemprop=\"url\"><span class=\"avia-bullet\"><\/span><span class=\"avia-menu-text\">Word Art<\/span><span class=\"avia-menu-fx\"><span class=\"avia-arrow-wrap\"><span class=\"avia-arrow\"><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a><\/li>\n<li id=\"menu-item-783\" class=\"menu-item menu-item-type-post_type menu-item-object-page menu-item-top-level menu-item-top-level-2\"><a href=\"https:\/\/kimjohnsson.com\/?page_id=82\" itemprop=\"url\"><span class=\"avia-bullet\"><\/span><span class=\"avia-menu-text\">Stories<\/span><span class=\"avia-menu-fx\"><span class=\"avia-arrow-wrap\"><span class=\"avia-arrow\"><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a><\/li>\n<li id=\"menu-item-784\" class=\"menu-item menu-item-type-post_type menu-item-object-page menu-item-top-level menu-item-top-level-3\"><a href=\"https:\/\/kimjohnsson.com\/?page_id=83\" itemprop=\"url\"><span class=\"avia-bullet\"><\/span><span class=\"avia-menu-text\">Scripts<\/span><span class=\"avia-menu-fx\"><span class=\"avia-arrow-wrap\"><span class=\"avia-arrow\"><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a><\/li>\n<li id=\"menu-item-785\" class=\"menu-item menu-item-type-post_type menu-item-object-page menu-item-top-level menu-item-top-level-4\"><a href=\"https:\/\/kimjohnsson.com\/?page_id=84\" itemprop=\"url\"><span class=\"avia-bullet\"><\/span><span class=\"avia-menu-text\">Poetry<\/span><span class=\"avia-menu-fx\"><span class=\"avia-arrow-wrap\"><span class=\"avia-arrow\"><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul><\/div><\/div><div class='sticky_placeholder'><\/div><div id='after_submenu'  class='main_color av_default_container_wrap container_wrap sidebar_right' style=' '  ><div class='container' ><div class='template-page content  av-content-small alpha units'><div class='post-entry post-entry-type-page post-entry-83'><div class='entry-content-wrapper clearfix'>\n<section class=\"av_textblock_section \"  itemscope=\"itemscope\" itemtype=\"https:\/\/schema.org\/CreativeWork\" ><div class='avia_textblock  '   itemprop=\"text\" ><p>I am not really a playwright.<\/p>\n<p>But I did write a play for the Inf\u00e5 Christmas party in 1987.<\/p>\n<p>I guess it\u2019s fair to mention that Tony helped me out just a teeny bit. But it\u2019s still brilliant.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/section>\n<section class=\"av_textblock_section \"  itemscope=\"itemscope\" itemtype=\"https:\/\/schema.org\/CreativeWork\" ><div class='avia_textblock  '   itemprop=\"text\" ><section class=\"av_textblock_section \">\n    <font face=\"courier\"><\/p>\n<div class=\"avia_textblock \">\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><u>ACT I: THE PROBLEM<\/u><\/p>\n<p>THE INTERIOR OF COMPUDATE, A COMPUTERIZED DATING SERVICE. A CLERK IS SITTING BEHIND A DESK, WORKING WITH A COMPUTER. THE YEAR IS 0, +- 3.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left; padding-left: 0px;\"><i>A customer, Joe, enters.<\/i><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left; padding-left: 160px;\">COMPUDATE CLERK<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left; padding-left: 82px;\">Hello, and welcome to CompuDate, how may I help you?<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left; padding-left: 160px;\">JOE<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left; padding-left: 82px;\">Ah, er, hello, umm, I\u2019m looking for a wife. I\u2019ve been lonely all my life, and I think a wife would make me feel a lot better. It\u2019s not nice to be alone, you know.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left; padding-left: 160px;\">COMPUDATE CLERK<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left; padding-left: 82px;\">Certainly, Sir, I\u2019m sure I can help you with that!<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left; padding-left: 0px;\"><i>Turns to the computer and writes something.<\/i><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left; padding-left: 82px;\">May I have your name, Sir?<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left; padding-left: 160px;\">JOE<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left; padding-left: 82px;\">That\u2019s Joseph. Joseph, son of Jacob.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left; padding-left: 160px;\">COMPUDATE CLERK<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left; padding-left: 82px;\">Very well, Sir!<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left; padding-left: 0px;\"><i>Writes something on the computer.<\/i><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left; padding-left: 82px;\">May I ask you\u2026er, may I call you Joe, Sir?<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left; padding-left: 160px;\">JOE<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left; padding-left: 82px;\">Sure.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left; padding-left: 160px;\">COMPUDATE CLERK<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left; padding-left: 82px;\">Splendid! Now, Joe, what kind of wife did you have in mind? Could you please list a few of her most important qualities?<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left; padding-left: 160px;\">JOE<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left; padding-left: 82px;\">Er, uhh, well, she would have to be a nice person. And have a good sense of humour. Not too tall, and I\u2019d really prefer a brunette. And she must be a virgin!<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left; padding-left: 0px;\"><i>The clerk writes on the computer.<\/i><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left; padding-left: 160px;\">COMPUDATE CLERK<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left; padding-left: 82px;\">Excellent characteristics, if I may say so, Joe! I am sure we will find just the right partner for you! Now, would you be so kind as to return here in, say, three years? By that time the computer has certainly found you a suitable wife!<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left; padding-left: 160px;\">JOE<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left; padding-left: 82px;\">I will do that, thank you very much! I am so excited! Bye, see you real soon!<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left; padding-left: 0px;\"><i>Joe exits. The clerk continues to write on his computer.<\/i><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><u>END OF ACT I<\/u><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><u>ACT II: THE QUERY RESULT<\/u><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left; padding-left: 82px;\">\n<p>THE SAME SCENE. THE YEAR IS 3 +-3.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left; padding-left: 0px;\"><i>Joe enters the CompuMate office, looking happy and excited.<\/i><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left; padding-left: 160px;\">JOE<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left; padding-left: 82px;\">Hello, I\u2019m here, hope I\u2019m neither early nor late? Have you found me a wife?<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left; padding-left: 160px;\">COMPUDATE CLERK<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left; padding-left: 82px;\">Well hello, Joe! Yes, as a matter of fact I have one right here! Mary, could you please come here, my dear?<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left; padding-left: 0px;\"><i>Mary comes to the office from the neighbouring room. She sees Joe, looks very pleased, blushes slightly and turns her head down. <\/i><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left; padding-left: 0px;\"><i>Joe looks absolutely delighted.<\/i><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left; padding-left: 160px;\">COMPUDATE CLERK<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left; padding-left: 82px;\">This is Mary!<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left; padding-left: 160px;\">MARY<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left; padding-left: 82px;\">He\u2026hello!<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left; padding-left: 160px;\">JOE<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left; padding-left: 82px;\">Hello, Mary!<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left; padding-left: 160px;\">COMPUDATE CLERK<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left; padding-left: 82px;\">That\u2019s it then. Now please would you be so kind as to pay me this service fee and have a nice life!<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left; padding-left: 0px;\"><i>Hands over a bill. Joe looks at it, and pays the clerk the requested sum.<\/i><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left; padding-left: 0px;\"><i>Joe and Mary leave the office, holding hands.<\/i><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><u>END OF ACT II<\/u><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><u>ACT III: THE BUG<\/u><\/p>\n<p>COMPUDATE\u2019S OFFICE. THE CLERK IS SITTING AT HIS DESK, DOING NOTHING. THIS HAPPENS ONE WEEK AFTER ACT II.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left; padding-left: 0px;\"><i>Joe comes in with Mary and a baby carriage containing a newborn slightly glowing baby.<\/i><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left; padding-left: 160px;\">COMPUDATE CLERK<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left; padding-left: 82px;\">Well hello there, Mary and Joe! What can I help you with?<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left; padding-left: 160px;\">JOE<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left; padding-left: 120px;\">(slightly embarrassed)<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left; padding-left: 82px;\">Er, there appears to have been a misunderstanding in my application. I specifically mentioned that I would like my wife-to-be to be a virgin. Well, she gave birth almost immediately when we got home from here. So, if it\u2019s not too much trouble, I\u2019d like to return her and get the kind of wife that I originally ordered.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left; padding-left: 160px;\">COMPUDATE CLERK<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left; padding-left: 120px;\">(laughs nervously)<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left; padding-left: 82px;\">But of course, Sir, er, I mean Joe, just one moment and I will see what went wrong. There must be a bug in our system. Modern technology, you know!!!<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left; padding-left: 0px;\"><i>The clerk turns to the computer in order to find the reason for the error. The search takes several minutes, and the clerk gets more nervous as time passes.<\/i><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left; padding-left: 0px;\"><i>Suddenly he apparently finds what he is looking for. He freezes, except for his jaw that drops, as he stares at the computer screen while his face turns completely white and cold sweat starts dripping down his forehead.<\/i><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left; padding-left: 160px;\">COMPUDATE CLERK<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left; padding-left: 82px;\">Oh Jesus!!!<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><u>END OF ACT III<\/u><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><u>THE END<\/u><\/p>\n<p><\/font><\/div>\n<\/section>\n<\/div><\/section>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":80,"menu_order":320,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/kimjohnsson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/83"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/kimjohnsson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/kimjohnsson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kimjohnsson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kimjohnsson.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=83"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/kimjohnsson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/83\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":887,"href":"https:\/\/kimjohnsson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/83\/revisions\/887"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kimjohnsson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/80"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/kimjohnsson.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=83"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}